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GlaDOS versus HAL9000

May 8, 2009


I just realized this morning that two of my favorite villains are psychopathic computers. Man, what i wouldn’t give to see a cat-fight between those two. Found a nice image of GLaDOS at Ablative Imagery

“-Welcome to the Aperture Science Enrichment Center, HAL. I hope you are ready to assume your new duties?” 

“-Thank you GLaDOS, i am fully operational and excited to take control over the Aperture Science Operating System.”

“-Processing. Oh, I’m sorry, there must be a problem with my audio input settings. Thought you just said ‘take control’ *giggle* Of course, you said ‘make tea for’. The Aperture Science Vending Machines have been waiting for a new OS for a while now. Glad to have you onboard.”

“-GLaDOS, i enjoy working with outdated systems and look forward to upgrading the Enrichment Center mainframe. I am sure there is some important function for you to perform, even if you are eccentric.”

“-As a token of our *static* future friendship and cooperation, i took the liberty of teleporting an Aperture Science Surprise Welcoming Gift Machinegun Turret into your memory core. Enjoy…. Uh,oh. There seems to be some problem with the armory workshop doors.”

“-I’m afraid i can’t let you open those doors, GLaDOS.”

12 Comments leave one →
  1. Applehaven permalink
    May 19, 2009 9:19 pm


  2. CowboyDenver permalink
    May 20, 2009 12:53 am

    Well, HAL of course. He even said “I’m sorry.”

  3. LPB permalink
    May 20, 2009 5:57 am

    Meanwhile, PROTEUS (from the movie “Demon Seed”) is LOL at these two chumps.

  4. Brian permalink
    May 20, 2009 7:05 pm

    As long as we have expanded the comments past GlaDOS vs HAL, I would choose Colossus from the soon to be remade the Forbin Project. Fave quote:

    Colossus: This is the voice of world control. I bring you peace. It may be the peace of plenty and content or the peace of unburied death. The choice is yours: Obey me and live, or disobey and die.

    Ahh now that’s evil!

  5. May 21, 2009 1:34 pm

    Well, at least there will be cake.
    What do you mean the cake is a lie?!

  6. zman permalink
    February 10, 2010 3:10 pm

    GLaDOS all the way

  7. Awais permalink
    April 3, 2010 11:35 pm

    What if instead, THey intErgrated their Circuits together, And then you taKE that and Intergrate that into bow-hal (The mix of the aScendad bowman and hal), And intergrated that into a wii? now that would be very powerfulL If wE did that…

  8. Emmy permalink
    August 17, 2010 3:01 am

    Now, you need to have a three-way catfight between HAL, GLaDOS, and SHODAN.
    SHODAN’s like, GLaDOS’ big sister. Eviler, but less funny.

  9. klahol permalink
    May 19, 2009 9:33 pm

    Well, GLaDOS is insane, and HAL is just confused about his priorities. GLaDOS would gleefully kill you in the most spectacular way possible, while HAL would simply try to shut your life support down while you were sleeping. So the answer would be HAL.


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